If you’re reading this at any time after November 4, then things will have been too late. You’ve already selected a candidate, swung by the voting booths, (or not) and cast your vote.

But if, by some time-traveling miracle, you get to read this before then, well, there’s hope that you’d make the right choice. According to Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink,” though we tell ourselves deep inside that we are good, unbiased, not-judge-people-by-looks kind of people, looks still factor in big, regardless of platform. We tend to look at the beautiful people and subconsciously think that they’re the smartest, can-do-no-wrong people.

Should this be true, then hopefully the following images won’t jar your decision for the elections. I mean, Halloween costume sales have foretold Presidential elections before in this country (BTW, Obama masks outsold McCain ones, 53-47) so why won’t a few pictures influence your choice?

Angry McCain

These first surfaced earlier this year, also known as “Furious McCain” which perfectly shows the kind of temper fits he goes into. Will we get to see that face in the White House?

Smoking Obama

So Barack Obama used to smoke — at least he quit. We’ve typified Presidents to be pristine to the public, more human when out of view, so does having enough will to quit smoking will his way to the White House?

Palin Winking

Why is Sarah Palin winking at me? When viewed on television, she kinda makes you feel like she’s talking to you secretly, jumpstarting that part in a boy’s mind that makes you think she’ll be right for ANYTHING. Is it right? Or is it sly?

Superman Backs Barack Obama

Not only does this appeal to comic book geeks, it also hits you with a mental barrage of comparison. When looking at it, you can’t help but compare Obama to Superman. (He’s been compared to the messiah, after all) Is it a clever attempt of getting people to associate the qualities of Superman (truth, justice, American way) with Obama?

Zombie McCain

This has to be the most famous image of the 2008 Elections — plus, it’s also been my most frequently attached image in emails I send out to friends, even if my mail doesn’t have anything to do with the elections. Zombies in politics?! They should win automatically, right? Kinda makes you think what will happen, should McCain meet up with leaders of the world and slip accidentally — will he eat their brains?

Let’s not make the Warren Harding error again. Let’s vote for who we think is best fit for the job, then they can make faces! Discuss this and other interesting topics over @ The Jabber.

The week’s funny pages — they say art imitates real life, and I say that’s a major cliché — so let’s look at the funny pages about the politicians.  I’ve already highlighted the strong political statements on bumper stickers — now let’s see what the cartoonists are saying!

I mean, with all that’s going on in real world politics, the cartoonists won’t ever have to run out of material.  The funny thing is, most of the comics are true; politics is absurd.

When your campaign’s clogged … who ya gonna call? – Who the heck is Joe the plumber?  If you’ve been watching ANY of the major news networks, or have been attending Republican rallies, then you’d know exactly who he is.  As a matter of fact, he’s become a staple in all of Ms. Palin’s speeches.  Way to divert attention!  Now if only he could solve the clogged-up media…

With all these truths, who needs issues? -  Honestly, McCain seems intent on destroying his opponent by any means necessary — even if it means using the facts against him.  So he knows a supposed terrorist … now how is that  being ‘Country first’ again?

I shrug. – Obama’s been known to be aloof against all of the issues piling up on him.  Have you heard him address the allegations personally?  I think not.  If you were to give someone a gift, and that person refuses, to whom does the gift belong to?  Plus, if you were to give insults to someone and that person refuses, to whom does the insults belong?

Heightened reality – As far as we know, this is how McCain perceives Barack Obama — which is basically urging his supporters to quake in their boots and vote for him, because he’s not ‘that one.’

You betcha! – Can’t have one of these lists and not have Palin on it.  Sarah Palin, did bring up Obama’s previous association with one Mr. Ayers.  That he was “palling around with terrorists.”  Such strong words … and she stands by it.  I wonder what McCain is thinking about her now.  Have you noticed that since then she hasn’t had any more prominent statements to release?  Well, save for that appearance on SNL where she was bobbing her head as Amy Poehler rapped about the Republican party.  Plus, she was wearing nice boots that time.  Rawr.

Do you agree with these comic depictions of the candidates?  Are they told in heightened reality, or are they saying it as it is?  Discuss it over @ The Jabber.

John McCain.  He’s become such a loveable media celebrity — although probably not in the way he likes.  What I find funny is that he’s the master of excuses.

Even when all eyes are on him, he manages a little switcharoo — looks under the table, pulls a card out of his sleeve, and goes with whatever’s written on it.  Even if its not on-topic, or, at times, even if it contradicts whatever he’s said or done before.

If you were ever in a tough spot, you could pull a McCain, and do it too!  Here’s how:

5.  “What (insert-name-here) doesn’t seem to understand…” – When faced with a counterargument, use this excuse and say something that is seemingly related, while throwing other factoids along the way.  (As seen in the first Presidential debate!)  For example, your brother accuses you of inciting a fight at school, you could always say, “What my brother doesn’t seem to understand is that I was fighting for your honor.  Plus, I think they were terrorists.”

4.  “My friends…” – You know those Hawaiian words that carry multiple meanings?  McCain uses the line “My friends” to refer to an opponent, or just his friends.  Use this when you’re trying to rally your other enemies to gang up on your greatest enemy.  (Who is also, “your friend.”)  Use this when ratting out your officemates to the boss.  “My friends were trying to have long lunch today, but didn’t invite both you and I, I think we should penalize them, my friend.”

3.  “Terrorist / UnAmerican / That One” – When trying to insinuate that you didn’t do something while also, pointing out someone else’s actions.  “Your computer’s broken?  You know who else used it?  You might never know.  That one.  You know who didn’t break it?  Me.”

2.  “Financial crisis.” – When you’re trying to skip out important matters (like, say, a debate) while trying to make your opponent’s enthusiasm into something selfish.  Like, say, you were to host the party — you say, “my friends, I’d have to skip out on doing that.  We’re undergoing a financial crisis, and it seems like all of my friends’ concerns are on having money-spending/wasting fun.”

1.  “I’m a P.O.W.” – This appears to be McCain’s favorite card in his excuse rolodex.  This has appeared more number of times, the funny thing is, out of all those times he DID mention the POW thing, he was never asked directly about it.  You have seven-eleven-thirteen houses?  “I’m a P.O.W.”  You’re for continuing the war?  “I’m a P.O.W.”  Sarah Palin?  “I’m a P.O.W.”  When asked why I wasn’t doing any more work for the day?  “I’m a P.O.W. in detention when the teacher was making that study plan.”

There you have it — 5 of McCain’s top 5 favorite excuses.  Here’s to the rest of the following weeks before 11/4, writing down more excuses that he comes up with.

A little caution though, if you *do* watch news in any way, shape or form, you’d know that any of these excuses could backfire!

Do you also enjoy political discussion?  So do other people!  Check out The Jabber to engage in fun, light and most importantly, intelligent discussion.  Click here for The Jabber’s Party Debate Room.