If you’re reading this at any time after November 4, then things will have been too late. You’ve already selected a candidate, swung by the voting booths, (or not) and cast your vote.

But if, by some time-traveling miracle, you get to read this before then, well, there’s hope that you’d make the right choice. According to Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink,” though we tell ourselves deep inside that we are good, unbiased, not-judge-people-by-looks kind of people, looks still factor in big, regardless of platform. We tend to look at the beautiful people and subconsciously think that they’re the smartest, can-do-no-wrong people.

Should this be true, then hopefully the following images won’t jar your decision for the elections. I mean, Halloween costume sales have foretold Presidential elections before in this country (BTW, Obama masks outsold McCain ones, 53-47) so why won’t a few pictures influence your choice?

Angry McCain

These first surfaced earlier this year, also known as “Furious McCain” which perfectly shows the kind of temper fits he goes into. Will we get to see that face in the White House?

Smoking Obama

So Barack Obama used to smoke — at least he quit. We’ve typified Presidents to be pristine to the public, more human when out of view, so does having enough will to quit smoking will his way to the White House?

Palin Winking

Why is Sarah Palin winking at me? When viewed on television, she kinda makes you feel like she’s talking to you secretly, jumpstarting that part in a boy’s mind that makes you think she’ll be right for ANYTHING. Is it right? Or is it sly?

Superman Backs Barack Obama

Not only does this appeal to comic book geeks, it also hits you with a mental barrage of comparison. When looking at it, you can’t help but compare Obama to Superman. (He’s been compared to the messiah, after all) Is it a clever attempt of getting people to associate the qualities of Superman (truth, justice, American way) with Obama?

Zombie McCain

This has to be the most famous image of the 2008 Elections — plus, it’s also been my most frequently attached image in emails I send out to friends, even if my mail doesn’t have anything to do with the elections. Zombies in politics?! They should win automatically, right? Kinda makes you think what will happen, should McCain meet up with leaders of the world and slip accidentally — will he eat their brains?

Let’s not make the Warren Harding error again. Let’s vote for who we think is best fit for the job, then they can make faces! Discuss this and other interesting topics over @ The Jabber.

Satire is, according to Merriam-Webster, “trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly.”  All I know is, they bring the truthful funnies.

During election season, the amount of information, either truthful or rumored about a candidate is ripe for a clever wit’s picking.  There are tons out there proliferating impersonations and delivering facts in a manner that mirrors the candidate, only humorously.  There are, however, others, who take that truth and add some spice to it.

“Paris for President” music video

I’m pretty sure everyone’s well aware that Paris Hilton is running for Prez.  I mean, the “old guy” said she was, so she guesses she is?  After the hilarious video and its follow-up, Paris Hilton comes up with a music video announcing her stand on the issues.  “Paris for President” is chanted repeatedly over an electro beat while creepy doll-faced secret agent guys dance around in the background.  “No more player-hatin’ in the U.S.A.” and “Fashion police?”  Sounds solid, don’t you think?

“The Vet Who Did Not Vet”

This one’s hilarious.  Using Seuss-ian rhymes, it gets its point across.  It does announce itself by the beginning that it’s a “cautionary tale.”  I’m not sure if kids will get the big points of this video, but still, it’s pretty entertaining — real-world caution juxtaposed with child-like visuals.  Why is it so funny?  Because it’s TRUE!  What bothers me is the last few seconds on this one, since it turns into an endorsement.  I like my satire neutral, so that I can smile at funnies made about each one.  (While still taking the issues seriously, of course.)

“McCain – Obama Dance-Off”

Forget the elections!  Settle the issues in a dance-off!  That way, people know what exactly they’re voting for.  This feature by mini-movie features some slick editing, something right up there with those silly video edits they make on Leno or O’Brien.  But of course, dancing skills should NEVER EVER replace true ability to lead, because if popularity’s any indication — we’re all pretty much screwed if the winner in the dance battle wins.  (That’s so non-neutral of me, wasn’t it?)

Well, those’re my favorite political satire videos at the moment.  Though I was initially tone-deaf for Paris’ music video, the lyrics are starting to catch on.  Let’s not hope that I won’t chat that next week on 11/4.

Do you know any other good political satire vids that I missed?  Share ‘em over the links, or discuss them over @ The Jabber.

Alec Baldwin recently revealed his reaction on the Palin-SNL acceptance.  Some fans hated it because it didn’t skewer Palin enough, while some still applaud SNL for being the only one with the guts to make fun of politicians who are right in front of them.

Thing is, it’s just too hard to not talk about Sarah Palin.  Well, there’s always the Tina Fey resemblance.  On the other hand, here are some other reasons:

The Quotes! Can you imagine foreign policy being reduced to “I live next to Russia!”  How about her being stunned when asked what exactly a VP does?  Can you imagine a world where she didn’t say that and we loved her all the more because of it?  How about the “Thanks, but no thanks!” or the “you betchas?”  It’s too easy because sometimes her speeches feel like they’ve been practiced in front of a mirror and rehearsed repeatedly.  Any semblance of spontaneity is gone.  It’s also the content of whatever she says: 80% is misquoted, the other 20% just makes us go “huh?”

The Hair and Make-Up! Many have commented that they hate the hair — while a more recent study shows that more people are trying to get the same hair.  Boosting the profit of stylists.  But wait, there ‘s even more — according to word that’s gone out, Palin spends even more of the Republican budget on her make-up artist — even more so than McCain!  It’s also been stated that she’s putting on heavier blush these days as a result of the spotlight being on her even more intensely.

The Clothes. $150,000 on clothes for the last two months?  Have we been working especially hard to buy her those hot new shoes?  Republicans are already reporting an outcry after hearing this, plus, the Democrats aren’t too far behind and are probably not going to let this slide.

That Beauty Queen thing. Treating the elections as a beauty pageant doesn’t mean that you could gloss over the real important stuff, like the question-and-answer portion, or, for that matter, the talent portion.  Finding the right answer to “how would you achieve world peace?” probably hasn’t been that hard for her.

That Hustler porn thing. When has porn not been famous?  It’s one of the rare dirty secrets that a lot of people has but is refusing to step out in the open.  So maybe someone asked the question, “what’d it look like, watching that hawt VP get nailed?”  Well look no further, because Hustler’s coming out with something that emulates the answer in their new adult film, “Who’s Nailin’ Palin?”  With a Sarah Palin-lookalike facing untold horrors, such as neighboring Russkies and whatnot, facing down with an Obama-alike, etc, I’m guessing it’d be a parody megamix.

Did you think I missed something?  Let me know by leaving a comment.

Do the male politicians get talked about via things like these?  Do you think I missed something?  Hit me up by joining in or starting intelligent discussions @ The Jabber.